


tell me all the ways to love you

by Anonymous



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, BeomKai, Confessions, Dancing in the Rain, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Insecure Huening Kai, Insecurity, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Fluff, and taehyun being like yall have practically been dating since forever, basically they're both just really awkward and cute and shy, oh also this is a mess lmao, perfectionist choi beomgyu, soobin is the token single for once, that's the only date spoiler you get, this whole fic is literally like what the heck is dating, very minor taejun im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29432760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Beomgyu and Kai have been best friends for four years, but oh, no, they're not dating (according to them). They like cuddling and holding hands, but they're not dating. Until Beomgyu finally asks Kai to go out with him on Valentine's Day.It should be everything they've ever dreamed of, but no one ever talks about how sometimes, realising your feelings are mutual makes everything even more awkward. Suddenly, what used to be natural becomes unnatural, and everything that was platonic is questioned.Or, sometimes going on a first date with your best friend isn't as easy as it seems.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Huening Kai
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30
Collections: Anonymous





	tell me all the ways to love you

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyyyy so technically it's still Valentine's _somewhere_ in the world, so technically I'm not late lol  
> I'm sorry that this is very VERY rushed and a mess! I'll probably edit it later if I'm bothered whoops 
> 
> I hope you all like it, despite how messy it is! Most of it was written in late hours, so I'm not sure how much of it makes sense (hence the need to edit). The title is from Lucky Strike by Troye Sivan!
> 
> This one's for you, my sunshine. I'm truly grateful that we were able to meet and that you've become someone so important to me. My sun, you light up my days (and nights lol) and you make me happy every single day. You're my special. I love you always ♡♡♡
> 
> **Disclaimer** ➜ This is a written work of fiction. It has nothing to do with the idols in the fic.

“Ning, will you go out with me?” 

When Beomgyu was set on confessing, he’d imagined a carefully planned night and a little bit of a speech. A build-up to the climax, in other words. Beomgyu, being a slight control freak and organised person, values plans and knowing exactly what will happen and when. Preparing beforehand so that nothing can go wrong, and so that all of the outcomes are assessed and considered. 

But when he saw Kai, waiting for him outside the art building even though he’d finished classes three hours earlier and Beomgyu had told him to go home, something inside of him was moved. Seeing Kai, smiling at the sight of Beomgyu coming out, his honey skin glowing in the light of the sun setting as his eyes curl into cute crescents, made Beomgyu fall in love all over again. By that point, he knew there could be no better timing, and any sense of his perfectionism was thrown out the window. No matter what response he’d get, he needed to tell Kai, or else he’d never muster enough courage again. 

“What do you mean?” Kai merely chuckled. “Like going out to the arcade or something?” 

Beomgyu gulped. This was the moment where he could turn back, laugh it off, and pretend like the romantic connotations behind the question were never there in the first place. 

He could have. 

But he didn’t. 

“No. Like… will you go out with me next week on Valentine’s Day?” Beomgyu blushed, chewing his lip nervously. 

Kai lost his smile, mouth agape in shock, and Beomgyu had thought that it might be a better idea to run. Although, he stopped with Kai’s next words. 

“Hyung, do you really mean that?” 

“Of course I mean it, idiot. What kind of a joke would that be?” 

“A-And… you don’t mean it in a ‘we’re both single so let’s hang out on Valentine’s Day just to spite everyone’?” Kai asked shakily. 

“No, Ning.” Beomgyu chuckled. “I mean that I would really like to take you out on a real date because I’ve had a crush on you for the past two years.”

“Only two?” Kai giggled. “I’ve been crushing on you for three years, so I guess I win, right?” 

“W-Wha-” Beomgyu stuttered, vaguely wondering how he never realised Kai’s feelings. “It’s not a competition…” He blushed again. 

“I’m just playing with you, hyung.” Kai laughed. “And yes. I’d love to go out with you next week.” 

“Thank goodness.” Beomgyu let out a sigh of relief, his scenarios of rejection fleeing from his mind. 

It’s safe to say the walk back home was awkwardly cute, filled with blushes and shared gazes and a sudden recognition of mutual love that changed both of their worlds. 

Sometimes Beomgyu regrets asking Kai out a week early, and he wishes they’d just gone on their first date that very same night. But then again, the perfectionist in him would _hate_ that. He’s only thinking about this because the past few days since confessing have been awkward. Sometimes in a cute way, but other times in a painful way. 

They can’t seem to stop blushing around each other or getting embarrassed when they suddenly meet eyes, and even close contact that was so natural before is now completely different. It’s awkward to bring up things and Beomgyu finds himself questioning whether some things are okay to say or do, since they’re not officially dating yet. All he wants to do is hold hands with Kai and cuddle him and shower him with love (and maybe even kiss him), but Beomgyu feels like he needs to hold back, as if it’s forbidden until they progress further in their relationship. At what point do couples even start holding hands, let alone kissing? He’s held Kai’s hand many times before, but now their physical contact has a different meaning. It’s romantic, not platonic. 

But the other reason why he wishes he’d just gone out with Kai spontaneously is that now he has to plan the date, which invites his overthinking and insecure thoughts in. It’s their first date ever (perhaps the two had always been too preoccupied with each other to even consider other people), and Beomgyu wants it to be special. Originally, he was so anxious that he asked Kai what he wanted to do, but Kai was shy and told Beomgyu he’d be happy with whatever he plans. It didn’t make the planning any easier. 

He doesn’t want this to be like any of their other hangouts. This is different and special, and it needs to be memorable. He thinks of new things they haven’t done before, and researches new places they’ve never been, planning late into the night. 

“Wow, you’re actually studying for once?” 

Beomgyu doesn’t look up from his laptop, typing and clicking away. From the voice, he already knows who it is anyway. The tall boy walks over to the seat next to him and leans in to inspect what subject Beomgyu is so immersed in, not even batting an eye at his best friend’s appearance. 

“Ah, I should have known.” Soobin laughs. 

“Shut it. You know I need to plan well in advance if I want this to be perfect.” 

“You’re worrying too much.” Soobin says. “It’ll be fine and Kai will love it and you’ll both be disgustingly cute and you’ll kiss by the end of the night. Best first date ever.” 

“You’re single, you don’t understand. I _want_ him to say it’s the best first date ever, for real. I don’t want to have any regrets.” Beomgyu groans at Soobin. 

“Beomgyu-ah, you’re overthinking it. Besides, it’s not like Kai has any other first date to compare it to. He’ll love it no matter what.” 

“Exactly! This is his _first_! I want to blow his mind! I want him to be happy and to have fun and to know how special he is to me.” 

“I understand that, and I can tell you now that he’ll definitely do all of those things.” Soobin smiles. “Just don’t overthink it. Remember it’s about you two, not what you do.” 

“I know, I know, hyung. But what fun is it if it’s a crappy date? That’s a terrible first impression.” Beomgyu scoffs, cheeks lightly dusted pink at the thought of being called Kai’s _boyfriend_. 

“By the way, do you think Kai would like the zoo or the aquarium more?” 

“Shouldn’t you know better than I do?”

* * *

Similar to Beomgyu, Kai finds himself worrying about this date, although for a slightly different reason. He isn’t worried about what happens on the date so much as he’s worried about the two themselves, and their interactions. 

He’s worried about the fact that their feelings are mutual and returned and that he’s gonna be Beomgyu’s _boyfriend_ and everything is going to change. It already has, if the past few days have been any indicator. Suddenly, secret and hidden glances are not so subtle anymore, leaving them both to become embarrassed easily. When Kai would usually rub Beomgyu’s belly randomly, he now has to think about it twice and wonder how appropriate it is. Kai realises that it’s _because_ they’ve been made aware of their shared feelings that they’ve become suddenly hyperaware of what they found so natural before. 

What Kai is worried about, is that on the date, they’ll be just as awkward as they’ve been this week, which Kai would rather not experience. It hasn’t been a bad experience, but just… weird. Like he has to rethink everything they’ve ever done before. All of the cuddling and rubbing of bellies and holding hands platonically and the “I love you”s are suddenly seen in a different light. Yes, Kai loves seeing how shy and cute Beomgyu is, but he also just genuinely wants to go back to how they were before, talking like normal and walking home without a moment of silence (without running out of things to say) and acting natural around their friends. 

Kai just wants to enjoy his time with Beomgyu, and he’s not sure if he can do that if he’s constantly worrying about what to say or whether it’s okay to hold Beomgyu’s hand or worrying about their relationship before it has even officially started. He loves Beomgyu, he does. But he just didn’t expect things to become so awkward. What happened to playing pranks on others and annoying each other and stealing food from each other or sleeping on the other’s lap during lunch? 

Kai is nervous because this is his first relationship, and he doesn’t know what being in a relationship should be like. He knows the stereotypes, but he also knows that each relationship is different and unique. He just wonders what his and Beomgyu’s will be like. Sure, he’s dreamed of this for a long time, but now that it’s actually about to come true, he’s not sure if he’s ready to face the reality and weight of it, or the burdens that come with it. He should be loving Beomgyu with his everything, but why do these insecurities and anxieties suddenly grow louder in his mind? What if it doesn’t work out? What if it’s too different for them? What if he’s the only one worried about this? 

“What should I wear? Smart casual? Casual? But it’s the first date…” Kai says, frowning as he goes through his cupboard. 

“Did Beomgyu-hyung tell you anything about the date?” Taehyun asks, lying down on Kai’s bed and eating some chips. 

“Nup.” Kai shakes his head. “It’s a surprise. But I assume he’d tell me if it’s anything too fancy.” 

“Any guesses on where you’re going?” Yeonjun asks as he walks in and flops on Kai’s bed, cuddling close to Taehyun. 

“No idea. Neither of us have ever been on a date…” Kai blushes. “I don’t really know what to expect. Do you two have any advice, seeing as you two are _actually_ dating?”

“Hey, that’ll be you soon.” Taehyun chuckles. “Although honestly, you and Beomgyu have been practically dating for ages.” 

“I told you to stop saying that! It’s not true.” Kai pouts. 

“Seriously? You’re literally talking to the guy who thought you two were dating when I first met you two.” Yeonjun laughs. 

“That’s beside the point! Things are weird now and I need advice on how to go on a date!” Kai complains. 

“Things are just weird because you two have been way too close to be ‘just platonic’ since a long time ago. You’re so used to being close that now that there’s romance, it feels weird. It’ll pass, Kai.” Yeonjun says. 

“Jun is right. You two just need to be yourselves. If anything, I’m surprised you two aren’t kissing already.” Taehyun blocks the plushie thrown at him. “You can worry about this date all you want, but it won’t do you any good. Just be honest and be yourself. Enjoy it. Love Beomgyu like you’ve been doing for the past three years, and be confident about it.” 

“Okay.” Kai nods, taking in their words. “Now, help me pick an outfit.” 

The second that Beomgyu sees that it’s suddenly raining even though it was only supposed to be cloudy, he knows that at least his first plan for the date is ruined. Stupid weather. He knows he couldn’t have controlled it, but he was riding on the 20 percent chance of rain to _not_ happen. The back-up plan isn’t ideal, but he has no choice. 

He drives his car to Kai’s apartment and gets out to walk up the stairs and to his door. Every step is one step closer to the love of his life, and the one person that this whole day is dedicated to. It’s safe to say that each step feels heavier than the previous one. He’s already bothered by the rain and the misery it brought with it, but he tries not to let it ruin his mood. Today is his first date with Kai, and he needs to make sure Kai is happy and enjoying it. 

When Kai opens the door, they both let out a collective gasp. For Beomgyu, it’s because [Kai](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EnbpN5HXEAIBCWx?format=jpg&name=large) is wearing a white turtleneck and denim jacket combo, with black pants. It’s an outfit he’s never seen before, and he’s absolutely stunned by how amazing Kai manages to look. He knew the boy was attractive, of course, but something about this felt different. For Kai, it’s firstly because Beomgyu is holding a bouquet of peonies, and secondly, because of how cute he looks in his [outfit](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Eton9f8XcAI0vtu?format=jpg&name=medium). He’s wearing a brown beret cap that Kai hasn’t seen for a while, along with a black and white striped top and a grey denim jacket with fluffy brown lining, along with some black pants. He looks adorable and Kai almost wants to cuddle him immediately, after he’s stopped himself so many times in the past week. 

“Hi. Happy Valentine’s Day.” Beomgyu blushes, almost as pink as the peonies in the bouquet. 

“T-Thank you. They’re beautiful.” Kai smells them with a smile and turns around to find a vase. “Umm… you can come in. I’ll just find a vase for them.” 

“O-Okay.” Beomgyu smiles and sheepishly closes the door behind him. 

He’s been to Kai’s apartment countless times, but this is the first time since confessing to him. It doesn’t feel as weird as he thought it might, since he’s so familiar with it (like it’s his second home), but it doesn’t stop him from feeling a little awkward. 

“Hyung…” Kai gulps when he comes back. “Let’s enjoy today, okay?” 

“Of course, Kai. Today, I just want you to be happy.” Beomgyu smiles at him. 

“Not just me.” Kai takes a bold step and holds his hand, blushing as if it’s the first time ever. “I want both of us to be happy.” 

“So… what’s first on the agenda, hyung?” Kai asks, fiddling with his fingers nervously. 

“Well… funny story. I didn’t think it would rain, so honestly the first plan is already ruined.” Beomgyu sighs as he starts the car engine. 

“What was it?” 

“We were gonna have a picnic by the Han River, but now it’s all wet, and we can’t do that anymore.” Beomgyu frowns. 

“That’s okay, hyung! We can just have it in the car! We can still drive there for the view, but we’ll be safe and dry in the car.” Kai beams. 

Beomgyu feels a little better, smiling fondly as Kai’s face lights up despite the gloomy weather. His very own sun. 

Beomgyu parks the car where they can still somewhat see the car from a distance, and reaches behind him to get the picnic basket from the backseat. Kai makes himself comfortable, sitting cross-legged and facing Beomgyu with a glint of excitement in his eyes. 

“D-Don’t get too excited. It’s nothing special…” Beomgyu blushes, laying out the picnic blanket between them and putting the various food items down. 

It’s squishy and small in his car, but it doesn’t stop Kai from being jumpy and wiggling like he does when he’s happy. Kai gasps in awe at everything Beomgyu pulls out from the basket, as if he’s pulling a rabbit out of a hat. He’s also very vocal about his praises, saying things like “This looks amazing, hyung!” and “Hyung, you’re such a good cook!” before he has even tasted anything. 

Beomgyu prepared what his basic cooking skills allowed, making sandwiches, rice balls, and even ramen in an insulated container to keep it warm. He made sure to include Kai’s favourite ingredients, even if he hated some of them (read: the tomatoes in the sandwiches), and included a combination of their favourite snacks if they were still hungry. 

Thankfully, during their picnic, they fall into conversations easily, although there’s still awkward glances and shy blushes and the brushing of fingers and everything that makes Beomgyu’s heart flutter. 

“Hyung, that was so delicious! The best picnic ever!” Kai giggles. “The bear-shaped rice balls were the cutest.” 

“T-Thanks, Kai.” Beomgyu blushes at the string of new compliments. “I wish we could have eaten on the grass, though, in the sunshine.” 

Kai nervously takes his hands again and squeezes them. 

“It’s okay. We don’t need sunshine and dry grass to enjoy a picnic together.” Kai smiles. He doesn’t mention that he already has his own sunshine with him right here. 

Beomgyu will make up for it with the next place, he thinks to himself confidently. 

But alas, his plans are ruined once more. He had planned on taking Kai to a small music concert, but it’s suddenly postponed due to unforeseen complications. Great. Beomgyu’s luck is absolutely great today. 

And yet again, Kai takes his hand, squeezing it gently. 

“It’s okay, hyung. At least it’s not cancelled! We can see it properly when they decide on a new date.” Kai smiles. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Beomgyu sighs defeatedly. “Um… Where do you want to go then? The concert was supposed to go for two hours at least.” 

“Hmm…” Kai thinks to himself. He’s caught off guard, seeing as he expected to just follow along with whatever Beomgyu planned. “Maybe the beach?”

“In this weather?” Beomgyu laughs. 

“I think it’ll be fun! There’ll be hardly any people.” Kai says before playing with his fingers nervously. “W-We don’t have to, though.” 

“No, it’s okay.” Beomgyu smiles. “We can go wherever you want.” 

And indeed, the beach is pretty much isolated, since it’s both windy and the sand is damp and hard from all the rain. 

“At least it’s not raining!” Kai laughs, taking off his shoes and running on the sand. 

“Yeah, but it’s freezing!” Beomgyu shouts, hugging himself tighter. 

“You’re wearing a warmer jacket than me! It’s fine!” Kai giggles and takes Beomgyu’s hand as they run across the sand, making footprints and filling the air with laughter as they go. 

They walk along the shore, squealing at the even-colder-water and naturally hugging each other for warmth. They find seashells, buried under dark brown sand and collect them, sand in their fingernails and everything. At some point, there’s a sand throwing fight and their pristine clothes are already forgotten, not caring at all about the sand in their pockets and stuck to their outfits. Even when it starts raining again, Kai is bright as always, half-screaming as they get more and more wet. He takes Beomgyu’s hands and attempts to dance with him. 

“We’re gonna get a cold!” Beomgyu shouts over the rain battering their faces. 

“Who cares! I’m trying to be romantic!” Kai’s laughter rings like bells and he smiles so impossibly wide that Beomgyu can’t seem to say ‘no’ to him. 

The whole time, Beomgyu tries his best to ignore the scene from ‘The Notebook’ and how he wishes so badly to kiss Kai right in that moment. It would be so perfect, but the thing is that Beomgyu isn’t even sure when he’s allowed to kiss Kai, despite having thought about it so many times before. That and, he doesn’t want to kiss Kai without his permission or at least asking him what he’s comfortable with. Their first kiss should be special as well, and he doesn’t want to rush into it. 

Eventually, they scramble into Beomgyu’s car, completely soaked and laughing nonetheless. Beomgyu gives Kai the picnic blanket to dry himself, and while it looks ridiculously funny, it works well enough and they’re laughing again anyway. 

“Where to next?” Kai asks, trying to dry Beomgyu while he’s driving. 

“Well, we definitely need to go home. We can’t walk around in wet clothes and we need to warm up.” Beomgyu chuckles. 

“Fair.” Kai giggles, and then blushes shyly. “So… whose place?” 

“We can go to yours.” Beomgyu blushes back. 

In hindsight, being at Kai’s place where it’s dry and warm makes Beomgyu relax significantly, feeling like he’s home. (Well, he’s always at home with Kai, but he’d never say that. Not yet at least.) He blushes as he puts on Kai’s hoodie, which is a bit too big for him, and a pair of his favourite sweatpants. The hoodie smells like Kai’s cinnamon scent and Beomgyu is so overwhelmed he could melt. He’s endeared, he’s shy, he’s falling more and more in love with Kai, and he wonders how he’d ever managed to compose himself while borrowing Kai’s clothes before. Why is everything so different now that he’s Kai’s probably-boyfriend? 

By watching Kai’s expression and the way that he drops his phone, Beomgyu guesses that Kai is also feeling something, whether it’s good or bad, he’s not sure. Kai himself is dressed in his favourite hoodie and sweatpants that Beomgyu often sees him in, so he supposes he’s less affected, even though Kai is still cute as always. 

“I-Is something wrong?” Beomgyu asks as he awkwardly stands there. 

“N-No! Nothing! You just…” Kai sinks into his hoodie to hide his face and mumbles. “You look really cute in my clothes.” 

“Oh.” Beomgyu gapes a little, blushing madly. 

“Umm… hyungie…” Kai starts off anxiously. 

“Yes, Kai?” His heart squeezes at how Kai calls him so affectionately. 

“Canwepleasecuddle?” 

“What? I didn’t catch that, you spoke too fast!” 

“Ahh, hyung!” Kai hides his face, embarrassed again. 

“If you don’t ask me clearly, I won’t understand, Kai-ah.” Beomgyu says, sitting down next to him on the couch. 

“I said…” Kai looks up at him again with cute, wide, and innocent eyes. “Can we please cuddle?” 

“Oh, Ning.” Beomgyu huffs with a smile. “Of course we can. You don’t need to ask me for permission to.”

“Okay. Sorry I’ve been awkward about it.” Kai says as he gingerly wraps his arms around Beomgyu’s middle, arms wrapping around his body in return. 

“You don’t have to apologise, Ning. If anything, _I’ve_ been the awkward one.” Beomgyu chuckles. “Sorry… it’s just hard to believe this is real and… things have felt different recently.”

“I know what you mean.” Kai stops himself before his insecurities spill out. 

“I missed this.” He mumbles as he nuzzles Beomgyu cutely. 

“Me too.” Beomgyu smiles fondly. “Way too much.” 

“So… what do you want to do until we get changed and get ready for dinner?” Beomgyu asks. 

“Oooh, what’s the dinner plan?” Kai raises his eyebrow curiously. 

“Dress fancy, but not too over the top. I probably need to head home to get my outfit. I didn’t really think about how that would work originally.” He laughs. 

“Gosh, you’re gonna need to help me pick out an outfit then. I’m not sure if it’ll work with what I have. Does the place need a booking? How fancy are we talking?” 

“Booking? Umm… it shouldn’t.” Beomgyu smiles nervously. 

They need a booking. The reason Beomgyu knows this is because the waiter at the entrance has told him so. Despite Kai asking him to check, he was so convinced that everything would be fine. 

It isn’t fine at all. 

“Can’t we just get a table for two right now? We’ll stay as short as needed.” Beomgyu pleads. 

“I’m sorry, sir, but the restaurant is fully booked out. We can’t let you in unless you have a reservation.” The waiter says firmly.

“Please, we’ll be here for half an hour and then we’ll leave-”

“Hyung-”

“You don’t understand how important this is. Please just let us in.”

“I can’t do that, sir.” 

“But-”

“Hyung!” Kai shouts and squeezes Beomgyu’s hand, finally getting his attention. “Let’s go home, okay?” 

Kai pulls a reluctant Beomgyu back to the car, and no other words are exchanged. 

_‘Of course. How could I be so_ stupid _to think that we could have just walked in and gotten a table without a problem?’_ Beomgyu scolds himself. 

He prides himself on being organised and a perfect planner, and yet nothing is going right. It’s as if he’d forgotten the most basic of things to check while planning, probably because he’d been too stressed and anxious about the day itself. 

They dressed up so nicely in collared shirts and freshly ironed pants, and yet they couldn’t even eat at the place. If anything, Beomgyu just feels disappointed. With the day and with himself, for having everything (or what he thought was everything) planned, and yet everything to go so terribly. 

“Hyung, come on.” Kai takes his hand and pulls him in, the elder boy stuck in a trance at the door. “Are you okay?” 

“Am I okay? Everything I planned didn’t work or happen and I ruined what was supposed to be the best first date ever, but instead it wasn’t perfect at all! Do you think I’m okay?!” He raises his voice, clearly upset and on the verge of tears. 

“Oh, hyungie.” Kai whispers and pulls the older, yet smaller boy into his arms for a warm hug. 

He hushes him as the boy softly sniffles into his shoulder, the wet patch growing on his shirt. Kai wordlessly pulls him to his double bed, where he knows Beomgyu is most comfortable, and he cradles the boy in his lap. He hums softly and rubs the boy’s back, soothing him and reminding him that he’s here, and he’s not leaving. 

“Sorry for being such a mess.” Beomgyu sniffles as he lies down next to Kai, clinging to his side and enjoying his warmth. “It… It’s okay if you don’t want to date me after seeing what a disaster I am.” 

“Beomgyu-hyung.” Kai says firmly, cupping his cheek. “I’m not going to reject you just because accidents happened and the weather was stupid and you forgot to book a table for a restaurant you didn’t think was popular. Do three years mean nothing to you?” He chuckles. 

“I’m sorry. I’m just being dramatic as always.” Beomgyu laughs softly. “I just wanted to make it the best first date ever.” 

“Hyung…” Kai blushes, takes his hands, and kisses them. “It already was. The moment you asked me out, it was already going to be the best first date, because it was you.” 

“Oh.” 

And for the first time that day, Beomgyu looks at Kai, and only Kai. He clears his mind of anything regarding his plan and he focuses on how Kai looks really nice with his hair styled in that way, and how his smile is the warmest thing ever, and how Kai’s hands are really soft in his. Oh, and also how Kai’s kiss was really sweet and how he’d really like to be kissed on the lips. He focuses on Kai’s genuine words, and he realises how he’d been so blinded by his plans and perfectionist side that he’d failed to love and see the boy that he fell in love with in the first place. The love of his life and his sunshine. 

In the silence, he falls in love with Kai all over again. 

In the quiet moments, he learns to appreciate Kai and he remembers, this is his best friend. The one that loves him back, yes, but who ultimately is the one who has been by his side since four years ago, and who he has learnt to be with and to love. This is Kai, who he knows inside and out, and who he shouldn’t have to be awkward around, because they’ve already been through so much together. 

“Hyungie, I’m sorry for being so awkward and shy.” Kai says softly, still squeezing his hands. “I… I don’t really know anything about relationships or dating, and I’m so happy beyond words that you confessed to me… but I was really worried. I wasn’t sure how to act for today. What to wear or what’s right to say or what’s right to do… I got scared that it wouldn’t be what you wanted.”

“Ning…” Beomgyu frowns and kisses his hands back. 

“But I realised, just then… that I don’t have to act. I don’t have to change myself just because I’m dating you. Just because we recognised each other’s feelings that we’ve hidden for so long, doesn’t mean we have to be weird about it. We can just… enjoy being friends, with the added affection.” Kai smiles, blushing pink, and Beomgyu nods in agreement. 

“You just have to be yourself, Ning. Because that’s the version of yourself that I fell in love with, and that I’ll continue to love.” Beomgyu smiles fondly. 

“And the same goes to you, hyungie. I’ve loved you for three years, and I’ll continue loving you. We’ll learn how to love each other… gradually. I think…” Kai pauses. “Dating isn’t a sudden overnight change for us. We can learn how to be boyfriends… together.” 

Beomgyu blushes madly and hides his face in Kai’s neck at the mention of the word. Boyfriends. Kai is his _boyfriend_. He can finally cuddle and hold hands with and eventually _kiss_ this boy without hiding his blushes or how his heart would race every time they touched. 

“So… _boyfriend_.” Kai giggles softly. “I don’t know a thing about dating… but I do know that I’ve wanted to kiss you for years now. And that I wouldn’t mind waiting, but I really can’t wait to finally find out what it’s like.” 

“You won’t have to wait long at all, then.” Beomgyu chuckles and leans in close, cupping Kai’s cheek before he presses his lips to Kai’s warm ones. 

It’s soft and sweet and warm and nothing like either could have ever imagined. Their only knowledge and exposure to kissing is either the media or Taehyun and Yeonjun kissing in front of them, but for them, it comes naturally. They slot together perfectly and soon enough, they’re addicted to the sensation, both melting and reeling at the warmth spread through their connected lips.

“How was that, _boyfriend?"_ Beomgyu giggles. 

“Amazing. I think I need more.” Kai says breathily and leans in again. 

Although it took them a while (“A _long_ while.” Soobin will say.), the two finally came to terms with their feelings and learnt how mutual love can make things feel different, and yet feel exactly the same as their friendship, but just with kisses and affectionate gazes and touches. The two have yet to learn about loving openly and freely, but they’ll do it with the help of each other. They’ll learn all the ways to love the other, even though they probably already know.

**Author's Note:**

> Ayyyyy thanks for getting through that train wreck and enduring reading that :') 
> 
> But in all seriousness, thank you for reading it and coming this far. I really do appreciate every single one of you! Thank you for reading it, whether you enjoyed it or not.
> 
> Leave a kudos or comment and let me know your thoughts :)


End file.
